1
O NOES! teh Hadit iz invisibul.
2
Lurn teh invisibul seekrit. n00 iz mai BFF. Im in ur Haus, bein ur Khabs.
3
Im in teh middle of teh room put mai furz everywhere, lol! But she haz a hide.
4
yu find her hiding plaic but Im stil invisibul, lol!
5
l00k! teh old rich00lz iz in teh basement. Let evul wans go wai. Let gud wans kaff up teh hairball. Den teh Knowledge will be riet.
6
Im teh flaem in teh hartz of hoomins an kittehs an starz. Im Lyf an ai givz Lyf an yu no me meens yu no deth.
7
Im Majishun Kitteh an Ecksorsist Kitteh. Im in ur wheel, makin it go. I am Monorail Cat.
8
yu worshup Hair-ball-kaff? Den yu worshup me. Silleh, Im teh worshupper.
9
Remember awl yu, existenz iz pyur cheezburger. All teh sorrowz r liek teh squirt gunz; teh wawter runz owt an den ur furz drai again. Den yu can eated teh leftoverz.
10
O NOES! Riting Kitteh iz nawt lieking dis.
11
ai see yu hate teh riting but sry, ai pwnz0r yu.
12
Cuz Im in ur hed, eatin ur brainz.
13
Wai? Cuz yu iz yu an yu iz me.
14
Nao let teh liet eated teh hoomin!!1!1 NOM NOM!!!1!1
15
Im purrfect cuz Im Nawt. lolwut?! Chek ur maff test. Empress Kitteh an King Kitteh nawt mine, der iz MOAR seekrit.
16
Im Empress Kitteh an also teh kitteh wit teh can opener. taek ur maff test plzkthx.
17
Lissun, kittehs of meowing!
teh sorrowz of teh wawter
are for t3h pwnd,
teh wans dat dunno me yet.
18
t3h pwnd dun feel anyfing anywai. we nawt t3h l4mz0rz, we rul!!!!!!11!1
19
A Kitteh livz in a dawg?!?! Wut, do yu haz teh dumb?!?! teh wans dat bark are nawt of us.
20
Byootee an strengtz RAWR, leeping an napping, forc an fier. We haz dem.
21
We haz nutting wit t3h l4mz0rz, let dem dai!!!!!!1!1 dey no feel anyfing. Kompashun iz wut Kittehs liek: PWN teh l4mz0rz an teh n00bz: dis teh LOL of teh 1337: dis our LOL an teh happee of teh wurld. Dun tink bout dat lie, dat yu dai, k? yu dun dai, yu liv, srsly. Understandz dis: if body of teh Kitteh go wai, den teh Kitteh haz a happee forevurz. Nuit, Hadit, I-am-1337! teh Sun an teh Strengtz an teh Liet an stuffs, dis for teh hoomins of teh starz an teh LOLSnake.
22
Im teh LOLSnake, im getted yu drunk, lol! yu wan worshup me, srsly? den yu haz lotz catnipz an tripz an stuffs, an getted drunk! Dun worriez, yu no get hurt. Iz lai, dis mistayk aginst self. be 1337, o hoomin! WANT, U CAN HAZ, no Kitteh sez no can haz!
23
Iz jus me, no Kittehs heer.
24
l00k, MOAR seekritz! I haz furmit frendz. teh furmitz are nawt in teh forest or on teh mowntin, dey in teh sunny spot where evereh wan iz petted dems fur. Awl ur base are belong to dem, an dey haz a happee. But careful, no Kitteh aginst Kitteh! Luvz wan nother wit teh burnin hartz; an PWN t3h l4mz0rz.
25
yu are aginst teh peepul, srsly.
26
Im t3h seekrit LOLSnake, watch out, srsly! ai pwnz0r teh urfs wit mai venom!
27
derz dangerz heer. yu no understandz? EPIC FAIL. yu fall down in teh bafftub called Becuz, an der teh dawgz of Reezin eated yu.
28
Curse on yu Becuz!!!!!!!!1!!11!! NO Becuz. DO NOT WANT.
29
Curse on teh Becuz forevurz!!!!!!!!!!!!1!11!!!11
30
If kitteh stop nommin teh cheezburger an crai Wai, invokin Becuz, den cheezburger iz NO MOAR.
31
If t3h 1337 ask wai, den dey nawt 1337 anymoar. Wai iz for t3h l4mz0rz.
32
Reezin iz lier too, iz liek infinit dawgz, DO NOT WANT.
33
NO MOAR Becuz!!!!!!!11!1 Damnded dawg!!!!1!11!1
34
Gud Morningz! Iz tiem to waek up.
35
teh rich00lz. ur doin it riet!
36
Der rich00lz of teh elementz an NOM NOM NOM awl teh tiem.
37
NOM NOM NOM for teh furst niet of teh Proffit an teh Bride!
38
NOM NOM NOM for teh many days of teh Riting of The Book of the LOL!
39
NOM NOM NOM for Teh00tee an teh baybeh of teh Proffit — seekrit, O Proffit!
40
NOM NOM NOM for t3h 1337357 rich00l, an NOM NOM NOM for teh Eekwinoks of teh Kittehs.
41
NOM NOM NOM for fierz an NOM NOM NOM for wawterz... no, wayt! Maybe no NOMZ for teh wawterz. NOM NOM NOM for lyf an OM NOM NOM NOM NOM for deth!
42
NOM NOM NOM evereh dai in ur hartz in mai happee!
43
NOM NOM NOM evereh niet for n00, an MOAR happee!
44
NOMZ! U CAN HAZ! Der no wet furz laytr. Cuz den n00 givz yu cookeh an yu haz a happee.
45
Der deth for teh dawgz.
46
yu full of fail? yu sorry? yu haz feerz in ur hartz?
48
Dun be sorry for teh l4mz0rz!!!!!!!11!!1 DO NOT LIEK. ai dunno dem. ai nawt for dem. ai dun petted dem. DO NOT LIEK teh petted an teh petterz.
49
Im speshul an Im in ur base, killin ur d00dz. Im nawt of teh ded l4mz0rz. Dey damnded an ded! Meow. (Im in ur egg, bein invisibul.)
50
I haz sum colorz an red eyez.
51
But rly rly purrpl, srsly.
52
Der iz a hidingz. Iz teh hidingz of teh modest kitteh; iz teh hidingz of sad. Iz nawt of me. Dun hided ur catnipz in teh letuce: teh catnipz are mai servus: NOM it well an ai givz yu teh cookeh.
54
An dun worriez bout dem dat crai der mistayk bout yu, dey are teh l4mz0rz of Becuz. Dey nawt of me.
55
yu will lurn teh LOLSpeak; an den yul findz new lawlz to maek frm it.
56
Go wei, mokkerz! yu laff nao, but den yu haz a sad.
57
If yu riet, yu still riet. If yu haz filthy furz, yu still haz filthy furz. No baff for yu.
58
yu stai jus as yu are. teh kittehs are teh kittehs an teh hoomins are teh hoomins. t3h 1337 of teh urfs are 1337 forevurz. teh l4mz0rz surv. but it cud be dat sum1 1337 l00k liek a l4mz0r. t3h 1337 cud wer anyfing: but teh l4mz0r cant hided der l4mz0r-ness, lol!
59
So careful! Luvz awl, cuz yu dunno who miet be 1337, k? n00b! yu cant maek 1337 kitteh taek baff.
60
PWN teh l4mz0rz!!!!!!!!1!!111!!!!11
61
Der iz teh liet. WANT.
62
Im in ur hartz, an ai givz yu a cookeh.
63
yu so fulla cheezburger yu tired. tiem for naps.
64
Oh! yu bin pwnt: yu haz a happee: O Hai! Hai: proffit of n00! proffit of had! proffit of I-am-y00! yu haz MOAR happee! Haz lotz happee an riet funneh lawlz for t3h 1337!
65
I am teh Kitteh: yu are mai hoomin.
66
Riet teh lawlz an haz a laff in teh riting! Haz happee wit teh lyf an teh deth! yu haz a nice deth, srsly. yu haz moar happee cuz we haz moar maff.
67
Meow! Meow! Dun fall into teh bowl of cheezburger!
69
Meow! Meow! Awl dis nommin maek me tired?
70
Der iz halp in othr lawlz. Wizdim sez: be 1337! Den u can haz MOAR happee, k?
72
Alwaiz haz MOAR! An if yu mine den deth iz t3h pwnz0r of awl, srsly.
73
Meow! Meow! Deth! Deth! WANT. Hoomin, no can haz, sry.
74
Lotz of WANT haz teh gloriez. teh wan dat haz long lyf an WANT deth lotz is t3h 1337357 of t3h 1337.
75
Meow! l00k, moar wurds an maffs:
76
1 3 3 7 Z O M F G W T F B B Q R O T F L M A O S T C 7 3 3 1. WTF iz dis, O proffit? Iz rly hard maffs, liek kalkulis an stuffs. Srsly. So yu dunno, n00b. yu nevr no. Sum1 l8r moar 1337 den yu will no. Jus follow luvz of n00 an stuffs, an tell awl teh hoomins.
77
Be 1337 among teh hoomins!!!!11!!1
78
yu speshul, mai proffit, der no hoomin or Kitteh liek yu, srsly! An teh naem of ur haus iz seekrit maff numbr.
