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The One Thought vanished; all my mind was torn to rags: —— nay! nay! my head was mashed into wood pulp, and thereon the Daily Newspaper was printed.
Thus wrote I, since my One Love was torn from me. I cannot work: I cannot think: I seek distraction here: I seek distraction there: but this is all my truth, that I who love have lost; and how may I regain?
I must have money to get to America.
O Mage! Sage! Gauge thy Wage, or in the Page of Thine Age is written Rage!
O my darling! We should not have spent Ninety Pounds in that Three Weeks in Paris! … Slash the Breaks on thine arm with a pole-axe!
COMMENTARY (ΝΕ)
The number 55 refers to Malkuth, the ride; it should then be read in connection with Chapters 28, 29, 49.
The "drooping sunflower" is the heart, which needs the divine light.
Since Jivatma was separated from Paramatma, as in paragraph 2, not only is the Divine Unity destroyed but Daath, instead of being the Child of Chokmah and Binah, becomes the Abyss, and the Qliphoth arise. The only sense which abides is that of loss, and the craving to retrieve it. In paragraph 3 it is seen that this is impossible, owing (paragraph 4) to his not having made proper arrangements to recover the original position previous to making the divisions.
In paragraph 5 it is shown that this is because of allowing enjoyment to cause forgetfulness of the really important thing. Those who allow themselves to wallow in Samadhi are sorry for it afterwards.
The last paragraph indicated the precautions to be taken to avoid this.
The number 90 in the last paragraph is not merely fact, but symbolism; 90 being the number of Tzaddi, the Star, looked at in its exoteric sense, as a naked woman, playing by a stream, surrounded by birds and butterflies. The pole-axe is recommended instead of the usual razor, as a more vigorous weapon. One cannot be too severe in checking any faltering in the work, any digression from the Path.